On trust

Trust withdrawn

The stab of pain 

When you realise the truth

The shock of betrayal like a hot iron

Cutting through your heart

Liquifying solid ground 

The safety net shredded

And left to rot on the rocks

Of your safe place

Oh to be able to see it coming

To ease the shock of sudden pain

To survive this roller coaster

This ride we are locked on 

Regardless of our own wishes

Trust, once lost can't be regained

on your own. 

without speaking of the loss

Can it?

The day after New Year's Day

A quiet day today. After being woken at 2am by Willow I had 45 mins or more not being able to switch off and go back to sleep. This is most unlike me. I usually sleep like the dead and if disturbed I drop right back into a deep sleep in no time. 

I think this phenomenon is because I have had a whole week off already and I have become rested. 

Although I shouldn't be thinking about work while I'm off I do. I go over all the things that have been said and worry about what is coming next. 

The days seem interminably long when I am on my own, and beyond a bit of housework and cooking I have few goals each day. The dogs get their exercise too of course. 

So this afternoon I have tidied up every thing I can find and I've made a cake. I will have to be strong and leave it for Sean to eat. My hips are quite large enough thank you! 

The towels all dried in record time today, the hot wind really helped. 

The photo challenge for this week is blue, so thus was my subject.. 

It has been nearly a month

Nearly a month since I posted anything here. A month from hell. I am not a fan of December. The stress of getting ready for Christmas Day and the week before when we see Dad and co. It puts me into a spin. I can barely function in amongst all those things to be done. Not to mention the stuff at work. 

Today was the first day I didn't feel like a spaced out wreck. In fact I am typing this because I can't sleep, because I am quite rested and have finished my book. I considered deleting this blog. And the flip side, but then thought what the heck. Hardly anyone knows about it, no one follows it as far as I know, and it gives me an outlet for thoughts. So I talk to myself, so what. 

I spend days on my own, so what's the harm in typing up my thoughts. Long as I don't discuss specific people or my work. There are plenty of other things to talk about.