random stitching

I've been crocheting my fingers off lately. I'm making another baby rug, but this one does not have a home to go to yet. It may be finished in a couple of weeks at the rate I'm stitching. People seem to like the photos I've posted of the work in progress.. and that lifts my heart. I'll have to upload them from home I think so I can keep a running record here.

The growth of the rugs is phenomenal. They start as balls of wool and a hook. and quickly become this lovely thing that surrounds you with love. There is plenty of love stitched into them, especially when I know who they are going to before I start them.

I've done two for Cyrus ( didn't know which to give them so I gave them both) one for Scarlet  (all variegated wool) and one for Julia. Her baby is not due til November though. ( the squares with the white surround )

The rug I'm on now is made from rounds which are squared off with white and stitched into the rug on the white round. It has been great fun to make the colours clash and try to keep the rounds in the rug so they are not repeated and not too many of any one colour together. I'm at 12 x 13 rows now and running out of white, so i will have to see if I can get more the same or stop adding squares.

It is quite foreign to me to make things clash.. and I am loving it.

my next rug may be a softer, simpler design, for a friend, that will take no time at all to run up. Or it might be a riot of colour.. I'll have to wait and see.

posts and things

My weekly photo posts and occasional gratitude posts on Facebook seem to be meeting with approval. I am gratified to see a number of likes and comments each week.

It is quite easy to get enough photos to post lately. Being spring there are flowers all over the place. I hope people are not getting too sick of them, but I don't think that is the case.. Dad, Mum and Joyce have all said offline that they enjoy them and that's enough to encourage me.

The pull to take photos is quite interesting.. I'm not pulled to do anything else in this way.
I notice it as an ache, a compulsion. To ensure I can do it I try to have the phone or the canon with me all the time now except when I am at work, then it is just the phone. That's not a handicap though. It takes great photos.

It would be great to use the photos more. There are so many now.

Vistaprint did some notebooks for me, but they are pretty pricey. It discourages me from printing too many. I may have to find somewhere else to print notecards but I think this would be a nice gift for someone for Christmas. Maybe calendars too. I will need to round up my favourite shots for that.

Another thing that would be good is to find a topic other than flowers that I can photograph.
Probably it is just a matter of keeping my eyes open. To see what comes along.

I wonder what it will be?

moving on

One of my colleagues left the organisation today. It was the hardest farewell I've ever been to. I will miss him a lot.

Usually I don't mind when people move on, it's just life, and to be honest some of them stay too long and I cant wait to see the back of them. I don't like a fuss when I leave anywhere. I remember all of the times I was leaving though. I do like to make sure other people are suitably farewelled and this is the 5th person to leave in under a year. The next leaves in two weeks, making 3 in 5 weeks.. it is harrowing.

This one was particularly difficult because he is the nicest person I know. Not perfect of course, but so giving and open.

He gave THE BEST speech. Thanked people for their friendships, their involvement in projects he has worked on and their help and inspiration in the past 7 years. He had people from several organisations there, all professional relationships that have developed into strong friendships.
He left us with the thought that family and friends matter, and to work to be happy and be better people.

I kept it together until one young man stood up to talk about him.
He was grateful for the mentorship and friendship he had received...I didn't hear the rest because it moved me so much and I left the room.

I will be sure to see him again as he is not that far removed from us in his new role.

In the future I hope there will be other people that in my life that are as nice as he is. And that I recognise them for that when I meet them.

this day in history

11/09/2013

About this time (4.30pm) 18 years ago today I went into labour for the final time. Fraser was on his way..

He didn't take terribly long, arriving about 10 pm. so Labour was only about 6 hours from start to finish. I have a clear memory of tucking him in next to me in bed and the two of us falling asleep the first time he woke up crying.. It was to carry on that way for many years. He much preferred to sleep with me holding him, or in bed with him.


Yvonne Harding looked after Matthew while Phil and I went to the hospital and Mum joined us there. We had a room with a bath this time and Marie Robinson in attendance. Marie was Matt's midwife too and this time we did not invite any doctors. The labour went well and he was delivered on the bed with me standing up holding onto Phil. Marie is a great catcher.

Giving birth is one of those moments in your life you never forget, assuming you are not too drugged up, and I was not.. This birth was easier than Matthew's. For that one I needed some medical intervention. Matt paved the way for his brother.

I had good pregnancies and enjoyed the experience. Both boys were early with Matt at 37 weeks and Fraser at 39. so they never kept me waiting.. That happened plenty of times later on..

Knowing we were expecting a boy child we had picked his first name, after a couple of other Frasers we knew. My Grandad was a Scot so there was a bit of honoring that as well. We didn't have his second name picked out exactly but I had thought Fraser Jonathon had a nice ring to it. When he was born I changed my mind and decided on Fraser Timothy.. I still don't really know why I did that. There are no other Timothys in our family.

We didn't stay in hospital long. maybe two days? and I was happy to go home. The other lady in our room had a very big family who visited a lot. We have a lovely photo of Matthew meeting Fraser. He was quite taken with him.

Fraser had a few birthday celebrations over the years, mostly at our place with a few friends invited to play or a trip to McDonald's, laser strike and later paintball.  That stopped a few years ago and we started just going out to dinner for the boy's birthdays. We didn't know enough of their friends to invite them to do much of anything else.

Sept 11 2001 was his 6th birthday.. the next day I was really relieved we are so many hours ahead of the states because the twin towers fell overnight. We had had a party for Fraser the day before and his birthday was not spoiled by that tragedy, although the date is now memorable for most people.

When Phil and I separated the property agreement required that I pay him back $50k that he left in the house. I never truly believed he deserved that money. I had to pay it back by today, Fraser's 18th birthday. I lived in fear of not being able to do that from the minute I signed the forms in about 2005 until January this year, when the bank told me I would definitely be able to refinance, and did I want any extra money for anything else while I was at it? I bought a reliable car, and refinanced in June so I would not have to worry about it now. Two fears done away with at once. I love my new car.

As long as I can remember Fraser has been waiting to be older.. he wanted to be 15 so he could sit his licence,  then he got it and moved on to his restricted at 16 at which time they changed the rules and you were not allowed your full licence until you were 18. and now he IS 18 so he can sit the full licence.

He  always been annoyed that he could not buy cigarettes, so he just did it anyway. At 17 he moved in with his then girlfriend, and at 18 is now flatting with a mate. Not too far from home although we don't see him much. Even though he was too young to buy it Fraser doesn't seem to have ever had trouble sourcing alcohol. I think he is ok with it, not too much binge drinking I hope.  I will buy him bourbon for his birthday, so it is a sure bet that he will enjoy the gift.

This month he is going to Brisbane to visit his best friend.
He arranged the trip and the new passport himself.

Now he could join coastguard , but he did that a few months ago, the first person in Wellington to join at just 17.  And now he can vote, buy cigarettes and alcohol, apply for credit, and be respected as an adult instead of as a 17 year old acting like an adult.

My baby is growing up.



Photos .  13 yrs, &  17 yrs
NOTE TO SELF scan some of the photos from when the kids were small and photos were printed from negatives..

the challenge

"To know someone here or there with whom you can feel there is understanding in spite of distances or thoughts unexpressed-- that can make of this earth a garden." -Goethe

Trigger Happy Tuesday- Please allow the following quote to inspire you creatively. Try to allow 90 minutes to create something, be it a poem, short story, anecdote, limerick, photograph or painting, or take 5 minutes or all day! 



Sweet is this place wherein I dwell

I dwell in a secret place.
of friendships odd in an online space
comforting, supporting, inspiring in their grace
lifting me up to see the world as a place that I
can enjoy, seek out and share.

I dwell in a quiet place within my head
feeding on posts that intrigue me,
putting  their words to the random  thoughts
that otherwise in my head have no form

I dwell in a place that knows not time
that cares not when and barely cares where.
There are no borders, no politics spoken, no wars to fear.

I dwell in this mighty space
where pies and pictures make me smile
where macro bugs and dragonflies
snakes and toads and crocodiles
repel me and yet drag me in to see them,
and wonder about the world that lives
across great oceans and miles.

I dwell in joy, morning and night
to see photos of water and sunsets and light
of children I may never know
their sweetness a joy and
parent's love a warm glow.

I'm feeding my heart in this quiet space
finding that I even have a place
That I can be me without judgement, without fear
Knowing that how and what I say and shoot and share
will be met with encouragement and caring.

The  photos are my favourite thing.
I am not schooled, don't know a thing
about the way I should do it. so I just do.
And the photos please quite a few.

Now I dwell and don't think of the dark.
Just look forward to the photos, the songs and the art.
I thank the people who have brought me this place
the thinkers, singers, and poets, for your grace.