unfurling

These beauties are opening a little each day. I'm loving the olloclip for how close I can get to the subject.

 

the world has issues

The picture below is from Sue Fitzmaurice's Facebook page.

"I have just found out there is nothing wrong with me, it is the word that has issues"

How nice it would have been if I had known this when I was an awkward, ugly teenager, or a new mum who really had no clue, or a worker who never fitted in, or a wife that had the wool pulled over her eyes.. I know it now though and it is not too late for the knowledge to make a difference.

Fear has moved aside a little. Most of the time it is a distant memory, one that is only pulled to the foreground in reaction to someone else's actions or reactions to me.  People do not like me, and it saddens me.

At the mall recently we were having a wonderful time colouring in with the kids and someone leaned on the table I was using and lifted it right off its legs. I wasn't overly concerned. It had moved only a little upwards and stopped moving when it came back down to rest. I glanced up at the couple at the other end of the table and then got back on with my colouring in. I would have though nothing of it except a few minutes later I heard the man in that couple say that I had given him "the look" I really couldn't believe he had thought that I had done anything like that. I was embarrassed and appalled. I just kept on colouring and gave the impression that I had not heard him. After  all what could you say in that situation? 'grow up' came to mind but I didn't express it. 

It reminded me that even when I say nothing people still judge me. It says more about them than it does me, especially when they don't even know me. It has plagued me all my life.  Unfortunately I don't have a perpetually smiley face. My mouth turns down. This does not mean anything, it just is. When I was a child I was often told to stop sulking. I've not forgotten it or the feeling of injustice that came to me when I felt I had been unfairly accused. It happened a lot. 

It was fear that caused the embarrassment, fear that people would believe him or that he thought I was that nasty or judgemental. Bear in mind that I barely even looked at them and cant even describe them other than they were mid to late 20 somethings. So really wasn't giving him any sort of censorious look. perhaps he was feeling stupid for disrupting the table by leaning heavily on the end. 

You might wonder why I would even write about this minor, brief, incident. Maybe you think I'm blowing it out of proportion. I have to learn something from this so it stops hurting me, so what I choose to learn from it is: there was nothing wrong with me, it was him that had issues.

What to do in a day? Love the little things.

I have today off work in lieu of some time I put in after last weeks earthquakes. I feel like a bit of a fraud since I didn't do all that much extra time or work but I'm not fool enough to turn down a day off. In fact I think I will take time off more often I have been thoroughly enjoying myself.

We had my birthday and then had the girls stay for a few days and today I have to myself. I am blessed to have two friends to share the day with too. I think Wendy and I may catch up for a chat shortly, and this morning I saw Elizabeth, while I took her PC up to be cleaned of its nasty bug. Thankfully she wont be without it for long.

I am amazed at how many rugs Elizabeth has made to send to Christchurch to comfort anyone that needs it, since the 2011 earthquakes. These are not small rugs mind you. There is hours and hours of work involved and they are the classic granny squares with black surrounds. I believe the current rug is on its way to Christchurch this week. So inspiring. I've only made three rugs to give away,all int he last two years, and they have all been to Sean's family's new babies. I trust they will get good use out of them. I'm getting right into the current one, and have been surprised how quickly it is growing but I will hold off posting photos until later.  My cousin's baby is not due for a while yet.

The weather is great.. chilly but clear and calm. I have to get off here and go plant the iris's and two other plants, whose names I do not recall, that Elizabeth gave me to bring home. Then off to walk the dogs or catch up with Wendy, what better way is there to spend a day.?

Later this evening..

Well the day got better and better. Coffee and a walk with Wendy, and Elizabeth came round to see the garden. And I read the INSTRUCTIONS on the olloclip box and discovered that the way I was using the macro lens was all wrong. Learning how to use it correctly has opened up a whole new world. I posted a few photos to Bedlam Farm's Open Group.on Facebook. and my status .. I think I am addicted to macro. "Love the little things"

first time

These flowers are all on the same camellia bush, in the garden down the driveway. Its not all that big but it flowers profusely.
I've had it 18 years and every year the flowers come out and are bruised so I got in quick to take these.
This is probably the first time I've ever tried.I'll have another go when we pick up the macro lens. these were taken on a close up setting. The camera does all the focusing which is great since my eyesight could be better.

ostrich

This is not a nice bird, but then she does have a broken wing and her keeper, Don, is a poor substitute for her (deceased) mate so she has reason to be a bit grumpy. I am very happy with these photos. the telephoto lens comes in really handy when you don't want to be anywhere near this close up and personal with your subject. Her name is either Windy or Stormy. The other name was her mate's name. The feather was in the pellets she was eating and it stuck firmly to her lips.. do Ostriches have lips? . It doesn't seem to even register with her.. not too surprising since her brain is smaller than her eye.

Full of life

Our house has been full of life the past couple of days. Chloe And Vanessa have come to visit. We have had adventures and good food, going to Shannon yesterday to visit Owlcatraz. And today to the riverside car park fruit and vegetable market in Lower Hutt. At Owlcatraz I rediscovered my love of owls and met a lovely cockatoo called Joey.

 I took quite a few photos and finally was able to photograph a real wild owl. They have 6 captive Ruru in the owl house, but since it was daytime they were all asleep. You are not allowed to photograph in the owl house, understandably.  The girls were very good. They enjoyed the animals even though most were familiar to them since they live on a farm. There was another family there with a mum and three including a baby in his pram and V&C helped look after the girls. Feeding the eels and ducks was fun, and watching the kunekune pig eat her bread. 

The ostrich was pretty odd. I only photographed her head because being behind a large gate she was hard to see. Surely they are only one step up from a dinosaur.

All in all I think Joey was my favourite bird. 35 years old and not shy of saying "want some.." So he would be fed some of the people's lunch. He had noodles and lettuce. 

The girls and Sean have gone to the park but my chest is sore with a cough so I stayed home and put the dinner on. I didn't want to aggravate it at all. 

I'm looking forward to the others coming home. The house will again have the sweet sound of love and laughter .

This is Joey.

  

  

powers of observation

I've been noticing things around me more lately. not least of which is this tree that lives about 700 metres from our place. We were out walking the pouches this morning and i noticed it on the way past, as we walked home. I should think this tree has probably been on the property in question for more than a decade.  The section is more like a barnyard really as they have ducks and possibly geese in an area next to the perimeter fence. . You can smell the duck poop as you go past.. I usually have the dogs with me so i move on, head down and get past before they see the ducks.

Today I found this strange flowering:

short story - Shelley's Treasure

Shelley's Treasure. 

Shelley is eight. She has just had a birthday and feels very grown up. Her sisters are only six and three and they are such babies.

Gran tells her all the time that she is a big girl... And she means it in a nice way, because really Shelly is just tiny, not fat at all. Dad can lift her up and throw her over his shoulder with even puffing.

When Gran says she is a big girl Shelley just knows that it's important, and so she feels important too. 

On the weekends when Mum and Dad are having a lie in Shelley gets breakfast for Molly and Julie. They don't make any noise because they like to have the house to themselves. When Mum and Dad get up there will be jobs to do and that's not so much fun.

Today Gran is coming over to watch the girls while Mum and Dad go out to look at new houses. Well, they are old houses that other people want to sell, but if they buy one it will be new for their family. 

Shelley is not sure that she wants to move. She likes the house they have now. It's good to have her own room and the garden has trees you can climb in and build huts in the underbrush. Her friends like the trees too. There are a lot out the back of Shelley's place and most of their houses just have gardens without trees that grow fruit.   

There are apple trees and pears, and some mandarins. Mum stews the fruit and they have it for pudding sometimes, but not the mandarins. They are great for school lunches.  Shelley is big enough to help pick the higher up fruit. Molly and Julie are not allowed to climb that high yet. 

Mum and Dad have slept in a bit longer than usual so they have to rush to get ready when they wake up. Dad grabs a bit of the girls left over toast on his way out, kisses Shelley on the top of her head and runs to catch up with Mum, who is on the drive already, talking to Gran.

They have a lot of houses to see today. Shelley heard them talking about it when she was doing her homework last night. The maths was so easy she didn't have to think too hard and she was able to listen. They were so busy talking they didn't even notice her.

They have to move soon because Mum is about ready to have Shelley's new baby brother or sister, and they need another bedroom for the baby. Shelley thought it could share her room until Mum reminded her how nice it is to have her own room, and her own toys. Sharing with her sisters was hard enough thank you very much! 

Mum and Dad drove off in a flurry of gravel, and Gran came inside and dropped her keys and handbag on the side table. Julie immediately stretched up and pinched the keys. There are so many cool things on that mass of jiggly key rings and Gran doesn't mind if they play with them. 

Once Mum had to look all over the house for the keys when Molly hid them under her bed. Now Gran carries a spare set of keys with out all the marvellous extra bits, just in case it happens again. She says.. "Never mind, they will turn up sometime" and winks at the girls, and they always do. Its a bit of a game. Mum rings her up later on to tell her where they were found this time. Sometimes in the dog kennel, or in the flower pots. They are never lost for long. Once or twice Shelley has hidden them herself so that she can hear her mum laughing with Gran about where they were found. 

Shelley's family haven't had a dog since Patch died when Shelley was a baby so it's a mystery why they still have a kennel or how the keys ended up in there. 

Gran is not one for sitting still so before she knew it Shelley and her sisters had their coats on and were lined up for inspection. It is only a short walk to the park where they could play for hours, or at least until Gran got tired of following Julie round. Julie has to go in the pushchair but Molly and Shelley walk along next to Gran.

Molly is faster than Shelley on the jungle gym and the slide. So they have races until they cannot keep it up any more. Gran watches them out of the corner of her eye while she tries to keep up with Julie. 

Shelley knows its a trick to get Julie tired enough to sleep after they've had their lunch. It always works. Julie still needs her afternoon naps, or she will be grumpy by dinner time. 

When it's time to go home from the park the baby crashes 

in the pushchair and Shelley and Gran take turns pushing her home.

Gran knows lots of songs and sings all the way home. Molly sings like an angel and knows all the words. Shelley knows the tunes but not all the words so sometimes she just hums.

Shelley is eighteen, and in her last year at high school. School has been a breeze but Shell is not sure which line of study she should choose for uni next year or which of the guys she's going to go out with next. The degree doesn't seem quite so important as the dates

Her parents keep telling her to put her energy into her sport, and really they mean well they just don't want her to have any babies yet.  Having her when they were young put a lot of strain on them. Didn't stop them having three more though. Perhaps they should have played more sport.

You wouldn't know the brat was her favourite. Shelley tries not to be too obvious about it, but it's kind of cool having a younger brother. You get to be a kid whenever you want and go to all the kid's movies. He's a great source of pocket money too. He doesn't get into trouble unless he has a friend or two over so it's no bother looking after him while Mum goes to her classes in the evening. God know what she's doing this term, probably meditation or belly dancing again. 

Shelley is twenty eight.

Working 60 hours a week she barely has time for life outside work. Boyfriends have been few and far between and none were ever interesting for more than a month or so, until this current guy named Marcel. Even his name is dreamy. They met at work, of course since that's where they spend all their time, and he seems to be interested in more than a meal... This could even be love.

Shelley is thirty eight. Her daughters are four and five and her son is giving her back pain, and due to arrive any day. Shes hoping it's not a sign of his personality to come. Shelley's Mum is on her way over to take the girls to the park so Shelley can rest. 

Sitting on the couch waiting for Mum Shelley wonders. "What happened to the last thirty years ?"

That trip to the park with Gran when she was eight has stuck in her memory. 

When they were walking home Gran told them she had a big surprise for them but they would have to wait for a day or two before she could take them to see it. 

Shelley was amazed. How could a gift be so big that you had to wait so long for it to come? Gran wouldn't tell her and Molly what it was so after a while she quietened down and walked back home wondering about the enormous surprise that they had to wait for. 

Mum and Dad were not home when they arrived and were still out when dinner time came so they made pizza for tea and Gran said she thought she would like to stay the night. 

This had happened before so the girls just lapped up her attention and settled down to a nice time with their Gran. Molly had tomato sauce and cheese on her pizza, but Shelly had salami as well. She wasn't allowed to make her own when Mum was home so it was a special dinner. 

The next morning Gran woke them up early, and bundled them into the car even before they had a chance to have any toast. Shelley asked where they were going but Molly fell asleep in the backseat, leaning up against Julie's car seat. 

Gran told her she was taking them to see the greatest treasure there ever was. 

Shelley smiled as she remembered that day, and how thrilled she was to see her baby brother when they got to the hospital. She remembered the love on her grandmother's face as, with Mum and Dad looking on, Gran took all the girls into her arms and showed them their "newest treasure."

Gran wouldn't be there when this new baby was born, but Shelley has made sure that the girls know that this baby is a treasure for them to love, just like her brother was, for her sisters, and for her. Just as her grandmother had told her way back when she was eight. 

She put her hand on her belly as Justin kicked out, and smiled. "Here you are Gran, here's our newest treasure."

notebook for inspiration - blog tool

This wee notebook will be the landing place for my blog entries.. I will use it to record the bullet points I can use to later create a blog post. I cannot be posting all the time much as I may be tempted,  I have to make a life off the laptops / iPad and phone. But when inspiration strikes ( get a load of that optimism ) I will note it down, mull it over and post when I have given it due consideration. There will be plenty of inspiration as long as I am a member of the Open Group for Bedlam Farm. Through that I am learning to appreciate the little things around me. I'm opening my eyes, being astonished and talking about it. 

posting from my iPad

so how easy is this then!  This is possibly my favourite photo from this year.I'm posting it to see how it loads to Blogger.
 It came in really big so I have re-sized it via the laptop.

 

Starting over

This is my very first post with blogger. I have given up on using Wordpress.
I cant get into the account to delete or update it so now we are in a whole new world.
Please let it be a world of light not pain, as IT things can so often be.

I will start with a link to a description of a Ruru. I've no photos of rurus of my own but the Department of Conservation have a few ;-). Ruru  is the native owl also called Morepork, which we have in New Zealand. I have a bit of a thing for owls, and have a collection of carved and otherwise man made little owls. Many of them were gifts from other peoples travels. these were a pair I purchased in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia  in 2002.