balance

Antique egg rack.
Push too hard and they break 

Life is a daily adventure in balance.
between happy and blah, between blah and fear.
blah and fear don't happen so much anymore
though they are always just below the surface,
waiting for me to fall between the cracks of the swing bridge.
The one that rocks gently while I take tentative steps
towards happiness.

Swing bridges like happiness, promise safe passage
if you take the leap of faith and step out onto the path.
then move beneath you and suddenly
the certain, safe road is no more.

My epitaph should read " it doesn't pay to be too happy. "
The bubble is too thin to be sustained
just when I start to think I am, actually, happy
something brings me back down again
only nowadays its to square 9 or 10
still, the bubble will burst.

Kicked in the butt and gut by fear
there is no spinning right back to square one now.
Stopping the dread and negativity
became easier with practice and mindfulness.

Remembering that " I'm ok You're ok "
mindset is the best place to come from
the best place to move on from, since it lays no blame
and allows room for peace of mind.

I have more to say and it won't all be pretty
but life is like that.A balance between fine and dandy
and getting by. Keeping things real.

I hope one day to find a bubble formula that is
strong enough to hold me inside
long enough to forget the other faded bubbles.

Maybe then I will find a new epitaph..